Healing After Narcissistic Abuse

I want to talk about something very real, something that some woman or man is living with today. By doing this I hope it will help a woman, or a man out there, going thru it right now. Mental abuse is real! And it takes a long time to heal from it. Sometimes you may never heal, and that's the sad truth. Being mentally abused moves into other relationships you may try and have, after leaving a mentally abusive relationship. People at times just won't get it or understand. Being mentally abused brings you down to a level, you never thought you could reach. You don't care about your self any more. Make up doesn't go on, perfume doesn't go on, your self esteem is gone. You feel you just aren't worthy of anything. Its a very difficult road to heal. And this is because, your narcissist partner has made you feel, everything is your fault. You are just the worst person on the planet. What ever you do is wrong! Living with this type of person shatters your life, it is a whole different level then just being depressed, and it does make you just want to end it all. Living with a narcissist makes you feel like you live in the most dark place. You cry when your alone, you have panic attacks, and the light goes off in your life. Your narcissist is someone, you loved and cared for with all your heart.

The mental abuse doesn't always start when you first meet. Sometimes it will, other times just like with physical abuse it starts slowly. With mental abuse, it can even start out as a joke, but leads into your everyday life, with everything you do. You can't cook right, you don't dress right, your just the most horrible person on the planet, and they are so wonderful.

For a woman or a man, it may take years before you even realize what is going on. It is important from the start to read those red flags, and get out before you are made to hit rock bottom. That narcissist you are sharing your life with will have no empathy for you. They are a very selfish person. They have the ability to manipulate others, by putting on a show that they are a very loving and caring person. But yet with you show no effect. They have no remorse, for their actions, or hurtful words. They justify everything for their own benefit. This is done to the point if you tell someone they think your the crazy one. They have no compassion for you, no concern how their words hurt you, they genuinely make you feel they hate you. Then turn it around on you, because their actions make you act different. That narcissist you are living with also makes you feel they hold all the rights in their perverted way of thinking. Others would never assume anything bad about them. They feel that they have the privilege to do whatever they want and say whatever they want, and it will have no impact on you. To them a lie is not a lie, it is objectifying you. Raping you, and ruling your life to get what they seek. They are very deceptive humans, with no compliance of respect. 

The narcissist you have in your life, is like living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. They project a persona of 180 degrees from who and what they are really all about. For example, they can come home from work in a great mood. And you serve them dinner, and ask how is everything. They can't say its really good, I really enjoy it. They reply, well if I had cooked it, it would be better. They give you no compliments, because to them they are superior over you. Don't forget, you do nothing right anyway. You need to understand that a narcissist use's his words to batter you, instead of his fist. This in turn makes you start to wonder if you are the one losing your mind. If you really are a bad person, that you really are that ugly duckling. It is verbal abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, and they are in charge of the playing field. Its their way, and that's it.

What a narcissist doesn't understand is that they have a personality disorder. It is a mental condition, they have themselves, to have a better sense of their own importance. They have to have a deep need for excessive attention and admiration. And this gets into their relationships in a troubling way. Also they lack any empathy for others, in no shape or form.

Watch for the red flags, get out fast, because if you don't it will take a long time to heal. It's important to understand that it is not you!